Country Gentlemen
by Loves Ironic Tragedy
Summary: Namine is a class-A criminal with brains, brawn, and beauty. Sora is a country boy that was in the wrong place at the wrong time and somehow ended up dragged into her twisted web of lies and alibis. NamiSor , NamiKu , Larxel.
1. Chapter 1

Country Gentlemen

**Preface**

"…Yuh dun't have to gimme that look, y'know," the brunet told his captor. He drummed his calloused fingers on the iron bars caging him into his bathroom. She really _had_ taken some strangely drastic measures.

Locking him in the bathroom? Taking every piece of his clothing other than his bed shorts? Threatening to kill his wife if he protested? Those weren't the most conventional methods one would use, but they worked for the blonde woman very well. Her hair was tied up in a messy ponytail and her sea green eyes shot daggers at him. She paced the wooden floor. Her black heals clicked with each step. Her arms were folded across her chest, pushing her breasts up in a way that made her cleavage far more noticeable in her tight leather top. Over said corset-like top was a yellow, white, and blue vest that wasn't property of her. She just wore it as a symbol of devotion to a certain someone.

"I have a feeling I _do_ have to give you 'this look' Mister…" She waved a dainty hand around in search of a name. She stopped and smoldered her captive with her gaze.

"Osment. It happens tuh be Sora Osment," he informed her.

She scowled at him. "Did I ask? No, I don't recall asking."

Sora sharply looked away and scowled at the tiled floor of his bathroom, jealous of the boundary line between tile and wood, wishing he could break through the iron bars. He was strong, but not _that_ strong. This crazy woman would probably kill him if he tried something.

"So Mister Osment… I want to know what you know about a certain man named Ansem Lee."

Sora raised an eyebrow and slapped his thighs. "Damned if I know, missus. I dunno shit 'bout you n yer city folk."

The woman reached through the bars with her thin wrist and smacked Sora upside the head. She glared. "When you speak to me, you'll refer to me as 'Miss Snow' and you'll _only_ speak to me with respect, got it you no good piece of horse shit? I'm in charge right now."

Sora rubbed his head and leaned up against the baby blue wallpaper with white anchors on it. He sighed deeply. "Right, _Miss Snow_…" he spitefully muttered. _Lord knows you're as cold as those evil chunks of frozen water._

Miss Snow stopped walking and struck a dominant stance to make herself seem taller and more powerful. "I'm only going to say this one more time, hick, so listen and listen well. _What do you know about Ansem Lee_?"

Sora rubbed the side of his face tiredly. He was getting sick of this. He'd been locked away in here for 15 hours and _this_ was the first humanly contact he got to have? Some luck he had. He wanted to get back to his wife Kairi. She was probably didn't even know he was gone; she was out of town visiting her aunt Aqua and Sora had been left home to take care of things.

"Look… Miss Snow… I already told yuh that I don't know nothing 'bout a guy named _Ansem_ _Lee_," Sora reiterated. He flipped around and clutched the bars desperately, staring at the mistress pleadingly. His large sky blue eyes begged her to release him.

She put her hands on her hips and leaned forward, her chest hanging down provocatively. Her bra made her _positively voluptuous. _Sora was ashamed of himself for staring. He thought he was going to be sick. He was starting at another woman. His wife would be so disappointed in him. He was _definitely_ going to be sick. He was disgusted. He wanted to run his hands over her body and it was _revolting_. He was a dirty man with _urges_. He wanted to do things to her that were sweaty and hot that he would never even _consider_ with his wife. The things he did with Kairi were gentle and smooth. The things he was thinking about doing with _Miss Snow_ were kinky and passionate.

He really wished she would interrupt his unusual train of thought before he decided to act upon it. "Miss Snow, _please_… I ain't got nothing to say to yuh that's worthwhile. Yer wasting your time here."

Miss Snow laughed. To Sora it sounded like bells. Evil bells with devious plans, but bells nonetheless. "On the contrary, Osment, I haven't wasted a single moment here." She dragged one of her pale fingers down a cold bar, wrapped her hand around it, and suggestively ran her hands on it.

Sora was getting hot and his thoughts were getting hotter. He closed his eyes and pretended she wasn't there. She cackled and in response he pleaded, "_Please_. Just lemme outta here. You can get back to yer life and I'll go back to mine."

Snow pulled a key from a vest pocket and unlocked a lock on the corner of one of the bars. She stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Sora backed up away from her and she kept getting close to him until he was against the far wall of the bathroom.

"I don't think so," she purred before capturing his lips in a fierce kiss.

He didn't know what was going on until it was too late. He was already kissing back by the time he realized what was wrong with the situation. She strategically placed one of her lean legs between both of his and pressed against his groin. He moaned into the kiss and the woman smirked victoriously. Subconsciously he let his hands find their way to her hips, around to her back, and settled them on her sweet ass.

She pulled back abruptly, leaving a very bothered Sora to stare at her form, which was ridden with laughter. She kicked open the iron bars and peered over her shoulder. "Mister Osment, if you wouldn't mind coming with me?" She motioned for him to follow her with a single clearly-polished nail. She lead him out the door, tossed him an all-black outfit and demanded he change.

He came out donned in all black, tight leather pants and a bright yellow V-neck t-shirt. He blushed a little, knowing his wife would never approve.

"Not bad, sir. Not bad at all. Now come on, we have somewhere we need to be." The woman strutted out of the house and out to the dirt road.

Sora's eyes went wide. "What about my wife? What about my home?" he exasperated, unwillingly following the witch out the door.

She winked over her shoulder and flipped him the bird. "Don't worry about it, Mister. Just get in the truck and we won't have a problem."

* * *

**A/N:** Just a new un-serious project I started. I don't know where it's going, but for the record, _Miss Snow_ **is** Namine.  
I love characterizing her as a badass, bitch, tough, strong, all those things that are the opposite of what most people do. Naw, I'm all for going against the norm. :)

So what do you think of this little idear o mahne?


	2. Chapter 2

**One**

Sora's eyes remained glued to the wide-open pasture on the other side of the F450's window. He wasn't pleased about being kidnapped at all, no matter how attractive his abductor was. He sighed silently before looking hopelessly at her. She caught a glimpse of his puppy-eyes and grimaced.

"Don't you _dare_ give me that look," she warned.

He pouted, purposefully using his boyish charm to wear her down. He had this problem in his pituitary gland where he would pretty much always look like he was young, making him a rapist's dream. Forever youth was dangerous.

"Ya'll can glare at me all yuh want but I can't be pissed you just stole me?"

Snow frowned, her brows furrowing. One of them twitched a little. "You came willingly," she simply stated, shrugging it off.

Sora fumed. "What choice'd I have? You prob'ly would've done the same damn thing anyway," he pointed out gruffly.

Snow smirked. "It's only per request of my partner."

Sora _humph_ed. He started to mutter annoyed insults about her breasts being faker than a cow that produced chocolate milk. The woman found herself chuckling, bemused by her victim.

_I don't know what Riku wants with this guy, but it better be real damn important if he wants me to put up with this redneck._

"Look, Sora," she began, not taking her eyes off the long stretch of dirt and gravel road. Sora found himself watching her lips way too intently when she talked. "I don't know what he wants with you. He gave me instructions, I followed them. See?" She pulled a notecard out from the compartment below the radio dashboard.

Sora snatched it away cautiously. His eyes grazed over the flawless handwriting 3 times before comprehending the message fully. He nodded a couple times.

"So yer telling me this faggot partner of yers asked you to hunt me down and bring me back with you fer part of some plan he's got?"

Snow glared. "Watch your mouth, farmhand. That may be what he told me to do but don't _ever_ talk of him like that again or we're going to have a situation involving you, rope, gasoline, and matches on our hands."

The truck pulled into the driveway of a small ranch. The drive stopped atop a rolling hill when it reached the mesa. The ranch house was one floor and had a dust brown exterior. Some cattle, goats, and horses were grazing on the property's dry fodder.

Sora dared to ask, "Where the hell are we?"

Snow tried not to laugh at his heavy accent. She jumped out of the truck and slammed the door shut, taking strides up toward the front door. An angered Sora followed close behind.

"What's your wife's name?" Snow asked him, not even glancing at him as she did so.

Sora raised an eyebrow. "Her _name_ is Kairi."

"…Not bad. Once that door opens only use your wife's name to refer to me if you have to use my name," the blonde commanded quietly while rapping lightly at the screen door. The screen had a large number of moth holes.

An old woman opened the wooden door and stared at the pair through the tattered screen. A rusty red eyebrow rose up in curiosity. "May ah help ya'll?" she inquired politely.

Again Snow had to restrain herself from laughing at the ridiculous country accent. In a shockingly convincing one of her own she told the old woman some sad story about how she accidentally hit a fox on the road while she was driving when it leaped in front of the truck. She needed someplace to put the fox's dead body, supposedly. The old woman was sniffling weakly by the end of the story. Sora couldn't believe what he had just witnessed. Did something that pathetically simple _really_ just work that well? Were all country folk besides him that dumb?

The woman steered both strangers inside and to the kitchen, where she had started cooking dinner prior to the interruption.

"Ma'am, if it ain't too much trouble, could I use yer john?" Snow asked, pretending to be embarrassed or nervous.

Sora almost slapped his forehead and shook that brown mop of his in disappointment. He shouldn't have expected anything less. She needed to go to the bathroom and so she went to some random person's house with a sob story. _This lady is really something else._

"Sure, it's right down that there hall." The old woman pointed down a narrow hallway visible from her place in the kitchen.

"Thank you." Snow walked away without another word. Sora noticed she was peeking in each of the different rooms as opposed to just going into the bathroom. She even went in a room that _wasn't_ the bathroom. The old lady didn't seem to notice.

"Is that lovely lady your wife, son?" the woman asked Sora with a suggestively quirky tone.

Sora turned bright red and shook his head. "N-no she ain't…" he uttered, rubbing his tense temples. He was tempted to admit he hardly knew the woman and she had just kidnapped him, but that might've ruined whatever she needed done and then he might get punished.

The woman chuckled. "I doubt a young man like you wouldn't want something foxy like that."

Sora blinked and bit back the embarrassed gasp that almost escaped his mouth. "Uh… Yeah, she's quite a looker…"

"A trophy piece of ass for your collection, eh?"

"Wha-?" Sora's eyes went wide he looked down at his feet and propped himself against a wall for support. He thought he was going to fall over at that point. This was completely mortifying. "No, it ain't like that _at all_. Believe me."

The woman smirked and nodded in that _yeah, right_ kind of way. She didn't believe him and he knew it. It only made him feel worse. "I find that _very_ hard to believe, sir."

Sora slammed his fist down on the granite countertop. "I hardly even know the lady, missus! She showed up at my house and told me to get in the truck."

The woman laughed. "So she's a corner worker?"

Miss Snow came out of whatever room she was just in with a slam in her step. Her face was contorted in aggravation. Sora noticed her fury and decided not to test it. If he called her a 'corner-worker' she'd probably be very pissed off. That was one thing Sora _didn't_ feel like seeing.

"Sor, we have to go," Snow told him sternly. She shot a pleasant smile to the older woman and bowed slightly. "Thanks for yer hospitality, ma'am, but me 'n this 'un hafta get outta here."

The two of them left the confused old woman in the kitchen to her dinner and hopped back in the Ford. Sora asked her what it was all about and Snow just shrugged. "I had to take a piss. What's so wrong about that?"

"You went all 'suspicious-bitch' for somethin' like _that_?" Sora asked.

Snow laughed a little. "Yep. And I bet you can't wait to see me when there's something important on the line."

Sora rolled his eyes, smiled disbelievingly, and leaned his head back against the rest. He shook his head and stared out at the long literal and metaphorical paths ahead of them. _I don't want to know what the hell I was just dragged into._

* * *

**A/N:** I don't know what to say about this story. It's just a lazy project I'm doing to amuse myself.  
Still have potential? I know this was random and crappy, but that was slightly the point.  
Any thoughts as to why? o.o


	3. Chapter 3

**Two**

Her foot was determinedly pressing against the gas pedal, commanding the truck to go speed up. It was already going 92 miles per hour and Sora was… scared shitless to say the least. He was clutching the seatback, his arms wrapped around the seat in an awkward way. His eyes were shut. He feared that if he looked they would be burning pavement. Snow was laughing. Her window was rolled down, her left arm was dangling out of it, and she was laughing, fully enjoying the speed. Sora, on the other hand, was not.

"Shit, lady! Slow down! Yer gonna kill us!"

Snow raised a blonde brow. "Indignant fool…" she muttered, shaking her head like she was disappointed.

Sora glared. "What's that s'pose to mean?" he asked agitatedly. This woman was going to be the bane of his existence. It was like she thrived when he suffered.

Snow sighed. _Leave it to a hick to not understand the English language._ She shook her head and removed her arm from the window to pick up the vibrating phone in her pocket. She flipped it open and cradled it on her shoulder. "Hey." She greeted the caller blandly with no emotive tone at all whatsoever, Sora noticed. "Yeah, what of it? …Oh you had better be joking or I'm going to kill the guy…"

Sora gulped, wondering if she was talking about him.

"Ugh. You just made this _way_ harder than it needed to be… No, I don't care. I'll be at the checkpoint in an hour or so anyway. We can talk about this the—what? Yeah, you're damn straight you better be there or you and me are going to have a huge problem. Good. I'm done talking to you. Bye."

Snow hung up the phone, clenching it in a tense fist. She shoved it in the glove box and leaned her head back against the headrest. She needed a break. Desperately. She _wanted_ said break but there was no time for that. She had to save her brother from Ansem.

"…Will you kill me if ah ask what that was 'bout?" Sora cautiously questioned.

Snow chuckled and shook her head. "No, I won't. It's just some possible difficulties we might face trying to get where we're going."

"…Where _are_ we goin', anyway?"

Snow scratched her ear and fiddled with a silver stud earring. "It's hard to explain, but basically home. _My_ home. Not yours. So don't get your hopes up, cowboy," she snickered.

"Y'know cowboys and farmers are diff'rent thangs entirely, right?" Sora pointed out, unlatching his arms from around the seat. He decided to toy with the hem of the shirt he was being forced to wear instead.

Snow rolled her eyes. "Do you think I care? Because I don't. And by the way when we get there you have to lose the stupid accent."

Sora's jaw dropped. "How the hell am I s'pose to get rid a my accent? It's the way I talk. I can't just _change_!" he exclaimed. He leered angrily out the window. "Damn city women and their high n mighty mait'nence demands…" he grumbled.

Snow whacked him upside the head. "For your information, Brownie Scout, I'm the lowest-maintenance person you're going to be meeting for a while."

"Did you seriously jus' call me 'Brownie Scout'?" Sora asked disbelievingly. As in, he didn't believe a nickname that stupid actually existed.

Snow smiled. "Haah. Yeah. Live with it."

"…Ah hate you…" Sora muttered under his breath, making sure she could still hear him.

She just chuckled at him, shot a wink his way, and lightened up the pressure on the gas pedal. "Join the club. It already has a president, vice, and treasurer." She sat up a little straighter as a small town came into view. _This is what they have for towns here?_ _God, it's like the size of my house._

Given, she lived in a mansion, but…

"Okay, Brownie Scout, here's the deal—"

"I ain't a goddamn brownie scout!" Sora yelled furiously. His tan face was turning red with rage, which greatly amused Snow. He looked so distressed and angry. It was… cute?

_Nah…_

"Yeah. Right. Whatever, Brownie Scout. Anyway here's the deal: there's some people I have to meet here. They're going to end up hitching a ride in the back for the duration of our drive to our real destination."

"Back as in…"

Snow nodded. "Yep. Truck bed. Trunk-gun. Whatever you want to call it, they're riding in the back." She slowed the truck to a stop by a nearby troth. Some horses were drinking out of it and whinnied at the foreign vehicle. "Oh. And you can't get out no matter what."

Sora gasped. "Why? What if I hafta piss er shit er get somethin' ta drink, huh?"

Snow shrugged and grimaced. "Then that's just too damn bad because there's a lot of people here that might recognize you." She eyed his outfit skeptically. "Well, maybe not in that getup but still. They never forget a face and I don't want any unnecessary obstacles. Besides, there's only a couple more hours of driving before we get to the airport."

Sora's eyes went wide. "Airport? How far is yer city from here?"

Snow grinned innocently. "Other side of the country. We and the others have to take a plane to get there. It's a private jet though so don't get your hay in a stack, Brownie Scout. All your upper-class needs will be met."

Sora shook his head in incredulity. _This woman is nuts. There's no other explanation for it._

"Now that we have an understanding, I'm out." Snow threw open the door and jumped out of the truck. She made sure to narrow her eyes at Sora one more time, reminding him that if he left there was going to be hell to pay.

Sora wasn't planning on getting himself killed so he obediently remained within the safe walls of the Ford. Because you know that slogan, _Built Ford Tough_? It's pretty much true. If you have a Ford, you should be confident. Especially if it's a truck because then you'll be able to run down some asses without a care in the world.

He had only been waiting eight minutes when he caught a strange sight. Snow was running at top speed with a gun pointed behind her, shooting at some people chasing after her. She missed. She wasn't focused. She was trying not to shoot the two people in line with her. There was a tall, lanky redhead with spikey hair and another blonde girl with slicked back hair. Much like Snow they were wearing black with a vest of some color over it. The male's was a dirty, mustard-like color. The blonde's was fuchsia.

To his surprise Sora actually knew what color fuchsia was. He was going to have to brag about that later.

Then he heard screaming and more gunshots. "Get in the bed!" he heard snow yelling. Then there were two loud _thuds_. Snow yanked open the door, jumped in the driver's seat, and slammed the door shut behind her. She turned the key in the ignition. She was sweating and nervous. She looked nervous when the truck wouldn't start.

"Come on… Work you stupid… piece _of_ SHIT!"

The truck started and Snow's foot slammed on the gas. The vehicle went from zero to sixty in eight seconds. It sped through the town, angering innocent people trying to shop and walk. Snow didn't stop to apologize like Sora would've. She didn't even roll the window down to call out an apology.

"'the hell's goin' on?" Sora asked loudly over the sound of tires rolling over rocky roads.

"Drive now! Questions later!"

* * *

**A/N: **Well wasn't _that_ exciting... Kind of boring at first. And Sora's new resident nickname will be Brownie Scout. :)  
What? I thought it was cute... *grumble grumble*  
So... R&R? This wasn't _that_ bad, was it? :O  
Still, it's very short. And I'm sorry. But I need a low-pressure story. Within the next 9 days my first novel will be published.  
HOLY SHAT. Suffice to say I'm excited and under a lot of stress :\  
That is all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Three**

"Son of a _biiitch!_" Snow groaned as the airport came into view. She had been right—there _was_ an airport there. How had Sora never noticed that? Oh right, he never left the farm. If he did he stayed within an hour's drive of it. He didn't have the time to find an airport in the middle of nowhere. Snow, however, had.

She leaned her head out the window and called to the back of the truck bed, "You guys okay back there?"

A male voice responded first. "Man, I think I'm gonna hurl. Yo, that was the craziest shit that's happened to me since the last time you called."

A female voice answered next. "That was insane! Learn to drive, bitch!"

"Learn to shut your mouth, prostitute!" Snow laughed.

"Uhm… Miss Snow, that ain't right…" Sora interjected, blinking uncomfortably.

"Call me Naminé," she suddenly ordered.

Sora blinked again. "_Naminé_? What kinda name is that?" he snorted, trying not to laugh at the stupidity in the city-girl's name.

She burned him with her glare, trying to set him on fire. It didn't work. "It's _my_ name, Brownie Scout. What kind of name is 'Sora'? It sounds like a girl's name."

"Nu-uh!"

"Yeah, it does."

"No it don't!"

"You mean 'no it _doesn't_', right?"

"No! I mean 'no it don't'! _You mean_ that it do!"

Naminé frowned. "Do you _know_ how to speak English? Can you speak any accent that doesn't make you sound retarded? You're going to stick out like fake boobs." She looked at the country boy curiously. She knew he had the potential to be the downfall of the entire plan. She still didn't even know why he had to be a part of it. Sometimes her partner had strange requests and for the most part she didn't mind, but this was just ridiculous.

Sora just stared at her blankly. He wasn't sure whether he should yell at her or get out of the truck and leave, never to see her again. As much as he wanted to punch her in the face- which for the record he was _really_ tempted to do –he wasn't that kind of guy. His parents raised him better than that. They raised him above hitting women.

The truck came to a complete stop in the parking lot beside a silver Camry. Sno—_Naminé _left the key in the ignition and got out of the truck. She told Sora he could too if he wanted. He hot-footed out of there so fast he tripped and fell onto the pavement. He winced in pain. He never knew this thing called concrete could hurt so much.

Naminé patted the truck bed and smiled at the two sitting in the back. "You ready to go?"

The long tall blonde with deadly green eyes scoffed. "You didn't even give us time to pack anything. We almost got killed back there. Way to go, dumb bitch."

Naminé laughed. "I love you too, Larxene."

_Larxene_ turned away so no one could see the soft smile on her face. She shook her head in a _'that girl…_' kind of way.

The redheaded male with skinny limbs grinned. "Nami!" he squealed, reaching over the ledge to lean down and give her an awkward hug. "It's so good to see you again. Especially when there ain't no cops after our asses."

"Same, Axel. It's good to see you too."

"So Nams," Larxene began, staring down at her smaller comrade. She climbed over the side of the truck and landed gracefully on both feet. She towered over Naminé. "I heard that bastard DiZ kidnapped Roxas and Xion."

Naminé froze. Her arms around Axel fell to her sides. She hung her head. Tears formed in her eyes. "…Yes. They have my brother and sister-in-law."

"You and he aren't married yet, remember?" Larxene needlessly stated.

Naminé smiled sadly. "I'd like to think we're close enough it doesn't matter…"

Axel jumped crazily out of the back of the truck and fell flat on his face in a belly flop to the pavement. He remained lying on his stomach and arched his neck to look up at Naminé. "Aw… Nami… Don't be sad. You're gonna get your bro back and kick Ansem's ass."

Naminé smiled sadly and giggled. "Yes I am. But I can't do it without you guys."

Larxene put a reassuring hand on the woman's slumping shoulders. At moments like this it was easy to forget that Naminé was a criminal. It was easy to forget she could kill coldheartedly and never feel an ounce of regret or guilt for her actions.

It was easy to forget how strong she was when she acted so weak.

"We're with you a hundred percent of the way," Larxene said. She glanced down at Axel and ended up glaring at him. She removed her hand from Naminé's shoulder and used it to drag him by his hair away from the truck. He screamed into the nearly-empty lot. "Shut up, Flaming Crotch."

Axel whined, kicked, and squealed like a little kid not getting his way. "So what if the carpet matches the drapes?" he cried.

Larxene kicked him in the side. She didn't use a _tenth _of the power she could've because Axel didn't deserve it. But it was fun to watch him squirm. "I love your pain," she sang, dropping his hair. She patted the back of his head when his face hit the tarmac.

He groaned.

Larxene started laughing. Naminé soon followed. The latter suddenly wondered where Sora was. She glanced over her shoulder. He wasn't there. She looked over the truck. He wasn't on the side. She did a one-eighty and saw him leaning against a large support holding up a bridge of sorts above a sidewalk. Normally it would be bustling with people, but it was a Tuesday afternoon and a very awkward time for flying. The fact they were in the middle of nowhere helped too.

Sora looked tired. He was leaned oh-so-casually with his head hung. From this distance she could still his chest rising and falling with steady breaths. At least he was starting to get comfortable around her and the strange situations. He was going to have to get used to her if he wanted to live to see the end of the coming weeks.

"Sora!" She caught his attention easily. She walked over to him slowly, careful not to hurt her already-pained feet anymore. She was still wearing the God-awful heels and could really use a break. Behind her back she motioned for Axel and Larxene to follow her.

Axel scrambled to his feet and chased after Naminé with Larxene very close behind him. They skidded to a stop as they approached Sora. Larxene and Axel started fighting over who one. (The former pushed him back at the end so he didn't get there first. Technically she won.)

"You did not, bitch!" Axel claimed.

"I did so, ass muncher!" Larxene retorted, punching him in the stomach. He doubled over in pain, trying to gain his breath. "That's what I thought."

"Sora," Naminé started, holding out her arm as if putting her companions on display. "These are my friends and colleagues Larxene and Axel. Guys, this is Sora. But you can call him Brownie Scout."

Sora blushed and clenched his fists. "I ain't a damn brownie scout!"

Axel speculatively checked out Sora up and down, causing the brunet to blush more. He wasn't used to people looking at him. That included weird redheads and violent blondes. (This lady made Naminé look like a saint!)

"I dunno, man. You look kinda like a brownie scout to me." Axel turned to Larxene. "What do you think?"

"Very brownie scout," Larxene agreed, nodding.

"No I ain't!"

"Of course you are!" Axel chirped. "You have the hair and the soft face and the pretty eyes and everything. You're totally a brownie scout."

"NO I AIN'T!"

"Are you guys done being four year olds yet? Because I'd like to _not_ miss my flight please," Naminé stated. Without waiting for a response she headed toward the entrance, not bothering with turning off the truck or going back to it.

Someone did though. Sora dashed back to the truck, turned it off, and wondered if there was anything they were going to need after this. He opened the glove box to find a decent sized purse. He started pulling everything out of the drawer and stuffed it in the purse, including the truck keys. He hit the lock button, shut the door, and chased after Naminé and her friends.

Funny how he didn't even consider escaping…

**

* * *

A/N:** I'm getting laaaazy. :\ Too bad no one who reads _SVS_ knows of this yet. *snorts*  
I've been working on a Vocaloid oneshot for the pairing LenxRin Kagamine. It should be up soon.  
But I'm sooo lazy with KH stories. I haven't had time to write. :( I've been editing my book, whose released date is inevitably (and sadly) being pushed.  
Damn it. :(


	5. Chapter 5

**Four**

Sora's first experience on an airplane was nothing short of terrifying. This narrator is about to tell you why. It was mainly because Axel and Larxene thought it would be funny if they tied him to a seat and duct taped his mouth shut. He was trapped for oh, say, an excruciatingly long hour before Naminé came into the back out of curiosity and found him there looking prime for raping.

Naminé scratched the back of her head. She then folded her arms and shifted her weight onto one side of her body. "If I had less dignity I'd want you right now, Brownie Scout."

He tried to retort, complain that his name wasn't _Brownie Scout_ and for the last goddamn time stop calling him that, but he didn't have the heart to.

Also his mouth was muffled with three layers of the strongest tape the diabolical redhead and sadistic blonde could find.

"Who am I kidding?" Naminé purred as she took sensually graceful steps closer to the brunet. She pushed up both arms of the seat, leaving him wide open. She shoved him to the side a little with her thigh and straddled him.

His eyes went wide, face turned red, and he was doing everything in his power to imagine that Axel dude on top of him; Lord knew that would prevent a hard-on.

"Who needs dignity when being bad is just _so_ good for you?" the woman asked. She gently touched the side of his face, creating the illusion of feathers brushing against tanned skin. Then she ripped the duct tape off powerfully, tearing it away. It made a very painful sound.

"Hey that wasn—!" Sora stopped midsentence. "OH SON OF A BITCH!" he screamed. He writhed and wriggled.

Naminé giggled. She planted her hands on either side of Sora to brace herself so she wouldn't go flying off of him. He was still squirming. It was amusing her greatly. His arms were still stuck to his side so he couldn't throw her off. His legs were tied at the knees so he had never bothered to try getting up. He would've just toppled. And now here he was bemusing a strange woman that just dragged him away from home.

"Ha! Cool your jets, John Denver. Thank _God_ you're a country boy otherwise I might be 'fraid a you." She winked and ruffled his hair. "You're so cute when you _struggle_." She leaned in closer, as if she were about to kiss him. And he was completely ready for it.

It went quiet between them, their breaths both slow and steady. Naminé found herself collected, glancing down at his lips while trying to hold her eyes at his.

"NAMINÉ! WE'VE GOT A…" Axel walked in at the wrong time. He stopped dead in his tracks and stared awkwardly at the pair. "…What the fuck?"

Naminé leaped off Sora and onto her feet. She smiled sheepishly for a moment before her eyes narrowed into a glare. "You got a problem, flamer?" Axel looks taken aback. "Yeah, that's what I thought.

"As a matter of fact, we _do_ have a problem," Axel pointed out uncomfortably, pursing his lips and averting his gaze from that of the she-witch.

"Well spit it out, bitch boy. I ain't got all day!" she reminded him impatiently, tapping her foot.

"Turns out Ansem has some of his men at the airport anticipating our arrival," Axel noted.

Naminé hissed. "Damn it. Riku's waiting there for us. If he gets captured we're good as fucked and this one is useless." She points over her shoulder at the confused farm boy.

His eyes go wide. _Riku? She couldn't mean… No way, I haven't heard from Riku since high school. How would this psycho know 'im?_

He got up the nerve and asked, "Ya'll know Ri-ku?"

Naminé and Axel both shot their eyebrows up and turned to him. Naminé responded by asking him how he could be sure they're talking about the same Riku. She was secretly just double checking to make sure she kidnapped the right farmer named Sora and Riku actually knew what he was talking about.

"Well, I dun know if yer talkin' 'bout the same Ri-ku I am, but he's got this mop a gray hay-er and bright blue-green eyes. I used to go to school with 'im," Sora explained. His face utterly _glowed_ when he spoke of Riku. He used to idolize his elder in school. He always had a soft spot for the certain _air_ Riku had about him. "But wut's he got ta do with this?"

Naminé sighed deeply and rubbed her forehead. To her disappointment, she really _did_ have the right guy with her. _Ah shit,_ she thought. _This is going to complicate things._

"Riku," she said, "is my fiancé. We live together in the city."

This just caused Sora to roll his eyes. _Well, Riku always did have a thing for Miss Snow—Naminé's type. He still likes it rough._

"HEY RETARD, WHERE THE HELL ARE," Larxene paused in the midst of her yelling at no one in particular (meaning Axel) and stared at the sight. Naminé's face red with anger, Axel's head hung in shame and defeat, Sora's eyes half-lidded and drowsy, face tinted red from the tearing away of duct tape. "'the shit? I'm missing something, right? Because this is really gimpy."

Axel sharply looked at her. "I'm not a gimp." He stuck his tongue out.

Larxene grinned evilly. "I didn't direct that at you, did I? No. Didn't think so."

Axel blushed a little. Naminé took notice and snorted, trying not to laugh. "You two… You aren't together yet?"

"Of course we _are_," Larxene sang, throwing her arm around a pink-faced Axel's shoulders. He just turned redder and Larxene laughed. The former seemed embarrassed. "Wow, Ax. I love how seriously you take this!"

Axel shrugged her arm off his shoulder. "Yeah," he muttered, "Right. Ha. Ha. Ha. That's me, your bitch, blah-dee-blah-blah…" He exited the room quietly, swaying slightly as he walked. It was like he couldn't hold focus on anything at all other than his mortification.

"So Brownie Scout, you know what this means?" Larxene wondered aloud, taking a provocative stance. Sora shook his head. "It _means_ that when we touch down in a few hours, if you get caught by Ansem's people, we all do. That means you, Nams, Ax, _and_ me. So I suggest you don't get caught. Get it? Got it? Good. Because I'm not going to repeat myself and if I end up captured by that lunatic, _you'll_ pay."

It was weird she said that because Sora had been- ever since Larxene walked into the room –getting the strangest feeling that he was going to have some high standards to live up to if he wanted to make it through this shitty situation alive.

* * *

**A/N: **I know, I know. I'm actually alive! Huge shocker! I'm surprised I even finished this. The school year is only three days in and I've already got a ton of stresses on my back and it's getting really irritating. This is the best I could come up with for now. Next update will be - hopefully - this week. I'm contemplating putting up an AN chapter in each of my stories telling everyone updates will take longer now that I'm totally frying and dying here.

Questions, Comments, Concerns?  
There's a Review button for that.

Love.


	6. Chapter 6

**Five**

Naminé entered the back room that Sora had been cooped up in since the flight started the previous day. It was now slightly past one and everyone was tired, nervous, and very much afraid that they weren't going to be able to make it through such a simple phase without messing up. It was mostly because of Sora's presence, but Naminé constantly reassured Axel and Larxene that he wouldn't be a problem. So in the end it was due to the fact they were all tired, hungry, and very over-prepared for any possible situation so the 'what-ifs' kept rushing through everyone's mind, worrying them, causing panic, and- for Sora –making one wonder if he was going to ever go home.

On the upside Axel untied him a while ago and gave him a word of advice_: "Don't get your hopes up on a girl like Naminé," he warned, "Because it always ends when the good guy gets his heart crushed."_

_Sora had blinked. "I already got a wife n a farm. Whut would ah need Nami fer if I's already got mah life set?"_

_Axel patted him on the shoulder once all the rope had been discarded. "Let me tell you something about women like _them_." He emphasized 'them' to show he meant business—business about not only Naminé but Larxene as well. "They've got different plans, man. They want one thing, you want something totally different."_

_Sora raised an eyebrow. "So yer sayin' gurls like them ain't never gonna getta good gentleman on their arm?"_

_Axel shook his head. "I don't think they will because they always want what's bad for them. Like Naminé with Riku or Larxene with…" He grimaced. "Doesn't matter. Just watch your back. You never know when she'll stab it."_

_Sora's ignorant blue eyes went wide. "Ya really think Naminé would do somethin' like thay-at? I dun't peg'er for that kinda wo-man."_

_Axel just smiled and ruffled his newfound friend's hair. "You never do. Not after they play you like a sax and drop you like hot shit. Not after they break you apart and psychoanalyze all your stupid motives, hopes, and dreams. Not even after you tell yourself that you'll never, ever listen to her again. You never believe that _she's_ 'that kind of woman.'"_

_And something inside just told Sora that Axel wasn't talking about Naminé when he said 'she'. Every word he spoke he meant about that woman Larxene and it tore Sora up inside to see someone so deserving get the cold-shoulder from the woman he loved…_

Naminé sat in a seat across the aisle from Sora. "We're touching down soon," Naminé informed him needlessly, kicking her feet up on the empty seat beside her. She smoothed out her small skirt and gazed out the open window at the black sky. It was like not having the window open at all.

Axel and Larxene were asleep up front. The plane was cruising and preparing for landing, which was merely an hour's time away.

"I haven't been to no city since I was a student," Sora said. He chuckled lightly. "Didn't think I'd be goin' back with two freaky blonde ladies n a dude with hair the color of Kairi's face when she gets all _mad_ n what-nawt…"

Yes, his beloved Kairi. His heart was calling out for her. Yet she was not receiving the messages. She could not hear him because being with these people was being a bullet in a gun with a silencer on it. He could go off if he chose, but she would never know. That fact really bothered him.

Naminé tapped her chin contemplatively. "I don't see you as a student. At all," she admitted.

Sora frowned. "Wus that supposed to mean?"

Naminé tried not to laugh at his ridiculous accent. She would have to whip him into shape and cut that annoying _twang_ out of his otherwise adorable voice. "I thought you would've always wanted to be a hick, ya know? You seem like a tunnel-vision kind of guy. Like Riku in a way only less proactive about it."

Sora snickered then asked, "Whaddya mean ahm a 'tunnel-vision kinda guy'?"

The woman shook her head modestly, not willing to make him feel like an idiot. But she did anyway. "_Tunnel vision_ is like having your eyes set on one goal, like you're in a tunnel. You can't see anything but what's on the other end and everything outside doesn't matter until you reach the end. And even then you don't look back."

Sora, intrigued by this concept, thought on it for a few minutes. It was _more_ than a few. He didn't realize time had gone by until they finally arrived at their destination. He had actually been contemplating whether or not Naminé was right. Did he have _tunnel vision_? He never thought outside the lines. He always presumed he would just live out life with Kairi on the farm until they both died together of old age, but since he was- very hastily –stolen from home, those thoughts had not entered his mind—they merely lingered with childhood memories and silly nursery rhymes he planned to tell his children one day. But his children didn't exist. And childhood days were long gone. All that remained in his brain were thoughts of his future.

And dare he say, that future most _certainly_ involved Naminé. No Kairi. No farm.

Just her, him, (and maybe Riku, probably not) living in one world. Because that one world had one sky. They all had to live under it together until the days they passed onto the next life.

Even then, Sora still couldn't bear the idea of returning to a quiet farm with a country woman on his arm. He was homesick. He wanted his wife. But what he really wanted was a different life.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm still alive. Sort-of. Not really. Writing is getting difficult for me. Fanfiction especially.  
I'll keep trying to update this because it's short-chaptered and fast-paced, but if you were looking for the final ending of "My SVS", you're going to have to wait a little longer. Anything "Or Never" is essentially dead ATM, too.  
Hopefully you still give a shit about me ._. 


	7. AUTHORSNOTEDADADA

**The A/N to End all A/Ns**

**A/N**: It's been… a long time since I've worked with FFN to say the least. It's been a long time since I've written quite a few of these stories. So to do everyone a favor, I'm going to put this note up on all the old stories that were going to be updated and mention the condition of each. Sounds like a plan to me. In the meantime, I'd like to thank everyone who's ever taken the time to review a LIT story. It's been a decent road that I hope to hop back on this season, inspired by my good friend _FreeKiwi_. If you've never read his stories, you should. They're sights for sore eyes, lemme tell ya.

Anyway, I'm sure a lot of the people that used to read my stories are gone by now and it might only be new people that read this note, but no matter who you are it doesn't matter. Because we all have one thing in common…

FAAAANFICTIOOOONNNN. (Trollolololzors?)

Without further ado, I give you the plans! Going in order from oldest update to newest with these stories. Blasts from the past are win!

**X**

Shades of Destiny: 99.999% chance this will never be updated again. Marking it as complete as I have a new videogame love that is NOT Riku sadly. This story was fun for a little bit but I didn't even like it's parallel-sequel that I'd written first so to be honest it's probably better that it never gets updated.

80 Days of You: I'd originally been writing this with a friend of mine whom I'm not longer in close contact with. I miss her terribly since she's moved but I guess this is just the way things go. Marking it as complete, never updating.

Defining Alive: Our Pact: This story was the _definition_ of planning and not following through. Believe me…I have an entire outline for the series sitting somewhere on my computer. If you want the outline for the series or would like to take the outline and write the story from here on out the way you'd like, feel free to inbox me and be my guest. It was a good idea but the odds of me updating it are low… Then again since I've been a twisted fuck lately it might come back. Who knows.

Muse: Marking as complete. Not updating. Nuff said.

Or Never: I'm relatively sure that this story, if this note gets read, will be the only thing anyone cares about. It was a good run of a story, but my writing style has changed a lot since the original _Matchstick Houses_ and even _Or Never_ itself. I can't guarantee I won't come back and try to fix the whole thing or come back and finish it in my new style. Not marking it as complete because in my head it's not. It still hasn't reached the end. QQ

Fad: I didn't even like writing this. Marking as complete. Never updating.

Ink: See above.

Country Gentleman: I liked this idea. Might come back to it. The short chapters meant I could write it in short spurts and not feel guilty about it.

My SVS: And here's where you'll start thinking, "BUT CARA/SCOTTY/WHOEVER THE HELL YOU ARE! I THOUGHT SVS WAS OVER!" I'll be more than obliged to say, "Yes, random awkward fan, it is. But it's very, _very_ possible I'll continue with the story based off of the true ending, _Wishful Thinking_ (if anyone remembers that. It's been a fucking year). Everyone thought that the first ending was the legitimate one. So did I, to be honest. But looking back on it, if I want to continue this story it _will _be, for a fact through the final ending that I offered of the story. Shit. I already have plans.

New Stories to Possibly Come!

_Perfect World:_ While I've been gone, I've been playing Perfect World International and private servers of PWI. If you know anything about it, I'm on Dreamweaver for PWI, PWBD, and PWV as well as PWR. _In a Perfect World_ would essentially be the true stories of what I did over Summer 2011 and my time on PWBD. It's actually rather dramatic, sad, and heartwarming. You'd be surprised. o.o So I think that'd be a fun tale to share with the world.

_Final Fantasy X/X-2:_ I don't have a title because I haven't really worked on it much yet. It's kind of something I dabble with between hours of fighting Evrae e.e But it could easily become more than that and most likely will.

_Kingdom Hearts:_ YEAH BABY. That's what you wanted to hear, right? It's all about Kingdom fucking Hearts, man. Is it going to be yaoi? Probably not. The relationship I'm currently in reminds me a lot of Roxas and Namine when it comes to characters. So if I come back the stories most likely _won't_ be the AkuRoku you know and love. D: And since I actually dislike Kairi odds are there won't be a SoKai going on there. She reminds me of a typical teenage dumb bitch and it's _so_ aggravating!

**X**

Thank you so much for reading this note if you did. I hope to reconnect with the FF community and see what's been going on. I went back and read some old stories recently that reminded me what it was all about and why I enjoyed it so much.

Authors that managed to do this without even realizing it include **Verovex, FreeKiwi, **and **XShiori-chanX. **Gosh I don't even know if two out of the three are still on here anymore :( It's been so long.

See you on the other side, readers. And if you ARE reading this note, thank you. I love you. o.o


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